You only live once -- but if you work it right, once is enough.

Chapter 1

Every time I heard my girl friends telling me that their are gonna having a baby again.. my heart was suddenly stop beating for a sec..

then my face will show as pale as chalk ( imagine that...lol).. no, i am serious, that's like you heard something you scared about and wanted to.. ironic!! yes, that's the perfect word to tell..

I've been dreaming having baby again since my son was 2 years old.. but the crashed in my marriage was a truly disaster.. loosen up my whole idea about being a mother of huge numbers of children.. not to mention the twins babies I really want.. *-*

Well enough with my old story... today was shocking, one of my best girl friend just noted is pregnant with her third... congratulation for her..and a sad note and expression comes from mine... not for her off course.. but for my self....do you ever feel want something badly and then you know that  almost impossible for you to reach out... that is so frustrated.. so mentally drop..

I can't hide it.. I confessed that I really want more babies in my life.... maybe one or two, I just don't know how..  can't hide my sad emotion when my friend asked me what happen? by crying I said.. that was my hope to having more babies... more life whose trusted on me..more bless n purity soul in mine.. 

after saying that, she just looked at me and with  smile on her face, she told me.. you've been so lucky dear.. you've got one short life in this world. n nobody can change that.. you've been blessed with one child who has a unique personality, He trusted you more than anybody... He trusted you to take care of His special belonging.. don't you feel that? you've been blessed more than anything.. He trusted you more than anybody.. He doesn't give you a regular life, He gives you a special case, special journey, you just didn't realize.. ...

Chapter 2,....

You only live once -- but if you work it right, once is enough. ( I supposed so..) 

Conclusion;

- never regret 

- never ask

- never give up

- never stop believe

- never stop asking  your self with qstn why you looks so happy, before and after  years in your life.....